We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
