farters have to be the big spoon...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
