i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
