if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
