I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
this boner is exhausting
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
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then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
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Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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