You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So vagazzling was a success
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
