That's intense
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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