it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
