I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
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