I like to think it a success when the cops are called
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
wow bdsm is so cute
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
