I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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