sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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