wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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