I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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