yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
