Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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