my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i came on her dog
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
