omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
