put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize