so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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