names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
