Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
