shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
