do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
