i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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