just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
