sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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