We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
And then my night got REAL pukey
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
