he told me I talked like a deaf person
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize