Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
