After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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