U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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