so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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