Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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