why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The adults are the big ones right?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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