Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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