none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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