I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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