That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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