dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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