i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
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