She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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