they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
