we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize