Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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