I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
