I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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