We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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