i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
