He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize