I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I need to sanitize my soul.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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