Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He has the fingertips of a God
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
