So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize