so that wasnt chicken after all
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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