That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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