I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
