Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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