Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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