Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
