how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
