but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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