we're chasing vodka with high fives
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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