I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
