Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
