I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
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I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
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You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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