I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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